A Stag, a Dog, a Wolf and a rat
by occupationbwitch
Summary: It's the Marauders! Funny Adventures, Original Pranks, Hilarious New Characters, Old Characters showing thier true colours! JL Fluff! COMPLETE Absolutely hysterical at times! R&R!
1. Year 1: RIGHT YOU BUGGER!

Authors Note: I'll try to keep this simple: Please read, and enjoy - or not. Please review if you like it - or not. Flame if you want to - or not.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, they are the property of JK Rowling and countless other people/companies that it would take too long to name.  
  
  
  
James Potter sat forlornly on the edge of his bed. His eyes were downcast, a frown was creasing his lips. He gazed around his bedroom; at the old grandfather clock that chimed 'move your arse, lazy!' in the morning; at his desk which as always was a disaster and lastly at the collection of random objects that occupied his floor space.  
  
James was worried about attending Hogwarts. He had never been one to make friends easily, he was shy and generally preferred to keep quiet. Also; the school he had been attending was a Muggle grammar school, they all thought he was weird.  
  
The Potters were of the obscure belief (for the wizarding world) that their children should attend Muggle grammar schools in order to teach them respect for non-magic communities, and James had spent the last six years of his life being ridiculed and teased about his hair, his glasses and how he always seemed to bring bad luck. And so, it was not surprising that James was not looking forward to changing schools.  
  
"JAMES POTTER! WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP THERE! WE'VE GOT TO LEAVE!" his mother shrieked from the floor below.  
  
James sighed; grabbed his trunk off the dresser and headed down the stairs.  
  
He confronted his mother half way, she let out a horrified squawk, "Darling, your hair. Its all over the place! You must let me fix it for you." She proceeded to draw a coomb out of her pocket (it was kept their for just this purpose) and tried to attack James' mass of black curls.  
  
'Mum!' James cried outraged, "Stop it!" he wriggled easily past her.  
  
"RIGHT YOU BUGGER!" shouted Mrs. Potter, "YOU'RE MY SON AND YOU'LL NOT BE GOING TO YOUR FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL A MESS! WHAT WOULD PEOPLE THINK OF ME, OF YOUR FATHER?"  
  
Mrs. Potter was a stout sturdy woman who had muscles like a wrestler, in a matter of seconds she had chased James down the stairs, grabbed him and secured him with one arm while combing furiously with the other.  
  
"Ouch, Mum! That hurts!"  
  
"I'm sorry darling, I'll try to be more gentle." Mrs. Potter stopped attacking his hair and began styling in a more civilized manor. The hair, however, refused to cooperate and so Mrs. Potter sighed and released James.  
  
"Right, then, dear. Into the fire place with you, never mind getting your trunk, I'll take it with me." Not waiting for James to protest, Mrs. Potter shoved him into the fireplace and tossed in the flu powder. "I'd better direct it dear, we don't want another accident."  
  
James sighed, a week previous he had 'accidentally' become separated from his mother while they were shopping and had 'accidentally' come out of the fireplace grate at Berkshire Primary, his Muggle school. Chaos didn't even begin to describe the effect.  
  
"Kings Cross." said Mrs. Potter and James became a cloud of greenish smoke.  
  
A moment later James found himself tumbling out a smoke shoot opposite WH Smith and the Upper Crust in the shopping section of the train station. He stood up, and was instantly knocked back down again by his trunk and his mother blasting out of the shoot behind him.  
  
"James, darling, you really must learn to move away from Flu connection once you've arrived. Now look you, all dirty. No matter." Mrs. Potter whipped out her wand.  
  
"MUM, No!" James hissed forcefully, "This place is crawling with Muggles!"  
  
"Oh, don't be such a fussy-pot, dear. You must always be clean! Scrubadubdo!" A white flash erupted out of the end of Mrs. Potters wand and James was free of dust, "There now, no Muggles noticed, and you don't look like you've been run over by a bus. Now come on, we've got to run!"  
  
His mother hoisted James' rather large trunk up over her shoulder with one fluid motion, not for the first time, James was glad that weightlifting was his mother's favourite past-time.  
  
They sprinted in the direction of Platform ten (according to the signs) and soon found them selves; out of breath and at the barrier which marked the entrance to platform 9 ¾ .  
  
Mrs. Potter dropped James suitcase and picked him up in a huge bear-hug. James went red with embarrassment. Everyone around was staring at them. Mrs. Potter, however was oblivious to this and hugged her son even harder, lifting him further off the ground.  
  
She set him down and wiped tears from her eyes, she sniffed, "My little baby is all grown up! Promise me you'll write to me!"  
  
"I promise, Mum."  
  
"Every day?"  
  
"Mum!"  
  
"Every other day?"  
  
"MUM!"  
  
His mother burst into tears, "Don't you love me, dear? Why won't you write to me! I feel so betrayed."  
  
"Alright, Mum!" James exclaimed trying to shush her before everyone in the station noticed, "I'll write every week, ok? Please be quiet!"  
  
His mother looked up, "You promise? Because if you don't young man."  
  
"I promise, mum."  
  
"Have a nice year James, I will of course be expecting you home for Christmas, non of this 'I'll stay at Hogwarts for the holidays' nonsense. Make some friends, honey and do try to have a good time, but." she paused a threatening look crossed her face, "If you misbehave.heaven help you."  
  
"Good-bye, Mum" said James, wishing she would just leave already.  
  
He turned quickly and heaved his trunk behind him, he walked straight through the barrier without problems and arrived on the other side, feeling a great sense of achievement. He hadn't needed to run through!  
  
He glanced around himself, quickly surveying his surroundings. The Hogwarts train platform was packed with students. The train, looked like something taken out of the nineteenth century, it was ornately decorated and lavishly furnished.  
  
Not wanting to get a bad seat, James hopped on to the train and dragged his trunk over to the luggage compartment. A quickly chose a seat near the window in one of the back train cars.  
  
He had scarcely sat down when a boy came running through the door of his compartment. He was completely out of breath, but with a smug, I'm-very- pleased-with-what-I've-just-done look on his face.  
  
"I'm sorry!" he panted, "Just.planted .a .stink.bomb.in.sisters.compartment.must.seek.refuge."  
  
"SIRIUS!" a girls voice hollered, "I KNOW YOU'RE BACK HERE SOMEWHERE! YOU CANNOT HIDE FROM ME!"  
  
"Quick!" James said without stopping to think, "Get under my jacket!"  
  
"Too Right." mumbled the boy as he climbed onto the seat next to James and through the coat over his head.  
  
A tall and rather pretty girl clamoured into the compartment, "Hello." she greeted him, "Have you, by any chance seen a boy, about.umm....well a little taller than you, black hair, brown eyes, running like the devil? Has he passed by here?"  
  
"Yes, I have." James replied swiftly, "He got off the train and ran forward. I think if you go to the front of the train you'll find him, but I'd hurry if I were you, we're due to leave in four minutes."  
  
"Thank you." said the girl and she rushed out.  
  
The boy flung the jacket off his head and collapsed into a fit of laughter, "You should have seen their faces! They were so surprised and Sarah was so pissed! Sarah's my sister by the way."  
  
James smiled, "I'm James Potter, its nice too meet you."  
  
Sirius grinned, "I would apologize for forgetting my manners and introducing myself properly - if I had any to forget. As it is, I'm Sirius Black. Thank you for saving me from the wrath of my big sister."  
  
"Don't mention it."  
  
"Well, I wouldn't, if I were you. If Sarah ever found out.whoa.you'd be dead before you knew what happened."  
  
"I think I'll take your advice."  
  
"Wise decision."  
  
The conversation was interrupted by the lurch of the train pulling out of the station and James was hit with the thought that whether he was ready or not, Hogwarts was almost upon him. 


	2. Year 1:Shouting in the Great Hall

Three hours later, James sat leaning against the window sill eating a chocolate frog. Sirius was amusing himself by seeing how many times he could get his chocolate frog to jump by poking it in the rear. His frog looked extremely tired and just gave a pathetic sort of twitch when Sirius poked it.  
  
"What house are you hoping for?" James asked Sirius distracting him from frog-torturing.  
  
"Oh," Sirius said as he gave his frog a final jab, "I don't really care. So long as it isn't Ravenclaw, which is where Sarah is and I would just hate to be in the same house as her. I've been trying to avoid her for the past 12 years of my life and if I was stuck in her house; I'd see her more than I have in years, it might give me a complex."  
  
James grinned, "I thought your sister was quite nice actually, and she's hot."  
  
Sirius made a face, "Shit, James, what are you thinking? Well there's no accounting for taste of course."  
  
A loud screeching noise filled the compartment, James rolled up the blinds on his window and gazed at the most spectacular sight he had ever seen. A magnificent black castle rose in the horizon, it's towers rose in the air to greet the oncoming train.  
  
"WOOEE!" shouted Sirius loudly causing many people in other compartments to stick their heads out and glare at him, "There she is James, our home for the next seven years of our lives. Not much to look at, is she?"  
  
James turned to glare at Sirius to see if maybe he was going mad, but Sirius just grinned good naturedly at him.  
  
"So," said Sirius in a matter-of-fact tone, "When we arrive, what shall we do first? Shall we, A: Rob the kitchens, B: Place a bomb under the Ravenclaw table so my sister will freak or C: Go to sorting, like normal first years."  
  
"I'd say we'll get sorted, and then do the other two."  
  
"An excellent suggestion, my dear James; and after we've finished that what say we run a little chess tournament?"  
  
"What?" asked James laughing.  
  
"My dear, boy," said Sirius faking a grandfatherly tone, "There are many good qualities in chess, the best of course, being that you can cheat like a dog and win money!"  
  
"Money?" asked a voice at the door of the compartment, "Did I hear something about winning money?"  
  
A small, black haired boy was occupying the door frame, his hair was so greasy that an oil lamp could have been made from it. His eyes suddenly got wide, "Sirius!" he demanded, "What are you doing here?"  
  
"This is Severus," Sirius explained turning to James, "He's this rotten little git who lives on my street. And," he said turning back to Severus, "I am here, because I am planning to attend Hogwarts School of Witch craft and wizardry, dumb ass."  
  
"Oh, that's right," Severus drawled, "I'm the rotten git, look who plays all the tricks, on me!"  
  
"You deserve it, you always get me into trouble!."  
  
"Yeah, but you're always hanging about in the street!"  
  
Sirius grinned, "See, James, he's pathetic. Oh yes, I'm always hanging about in street, Severus, probably because I live in your neighbourhood. Piss of, Severus, go play with your greasy little friends, in your greasy little world. If you have any friends, that is."  
  
Severus shot a final glare at Sirius before storming out of the compartment.  
  
James grinned, "Do I sense a certain degree of dislike here?"  
  
Sirius shrugged, "There's nothing redeeming about Severus Snape, he's annoying, he has no life, no friends and he always gets me grounded. So I play a few harmless tricks on him, it hasn't killed him."  
  
"Not yet it hasn't."  
  
"Would you be dreadfully cut up if it did?"  
  
The train came to a complete stop and Sirius bounded out of the compartment followed closely by James. In the baggage car, a mad scramble for luggage was going on.  
  
"GET OFF ME, MALFOY!"  
  
"UP YOURS, WEASLY. THAT'S MINE GIVE IT TOO ME!"  
  
The two boys began pushing each other and a moment later were on top of one another kicking and punching with most alarming severity.  
  
Sirius waded into the fray and grabbed the smaller boy by the collar yanking him off the pale haired boy who's face was bright red from suppressed tears.  
  
"Now, Now, you two." Sirius chided in a teacherly voice, "Here at Hogwarts, we are all one big happy family. Now say your sorry and shake. We're all friends, here."  
  
"That didn't seem to be your philosophy with Severus a minute ago."  
  
Sirius glared hard at James, "Your not helping!" he hissed. He gave the redhead he was hold a shake.  
  
"Fine, Sorry Malfoy." mumbled Sirius' captive.  
  
Malfoy sneered, "We shouldn't have even been fighting, Weasly. Its not as if I couldn't tell my bags from yours, mine are new, yours.well.lets just say they could use a bit of repairing, or maybe more than a bit."  
  
James gave Malfoy a kick, "Oops." he said not sounding very sincere at all, "I'm sorry about that. I thought that maybe you were just a piece of luggage, I mean you didn't seem to be saying anything intelligent."  
  
Sirius let go of the collar, and quickly located his trunk, which Malfoy happened to be sitting on and gave a gigantic heave, Malfoy fell flat on his nose.  
  
"Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" Sirius said with mock sincerity, "Well, you really shouldn't sit on people's belongings, not very polite; you know."  
  
James grabbed his trunk and he and Sirius quickly hopped off the train, bursting into laughter.  
  
A huge hand was suddenly rested on James shoulder, he looked, up and up and up, to see a friendly bearded face, "Come along ye two! Yer holdin' everyone up ye are."  
  
They allowed themselves to be escorted by the giant across the lake, and into the castle and lined up behind the other first years. At the beginning of the queue was the legendary sorting hat. James crossed his fingers, and wished silently, Please let me be in a house with Sirius, please!  
  
A short witch stood up from the teachers table at the front of the great hall, "Lily Evans." she called.  
  
The creature who walked to the hat, was the most beautiful person James had ever seen. Her hair was perfectly straight and it hung down in long red locks, her teeth were even and pearly white. She sported no blemishes, what so ever. James got the notion that he was looking at an angel.  
  
Sirius tapped his chin gently, "Close your mouth, lover boy, you're drooling."  
  
"I am not." James hissed defensively, but he quickly wiped his chin just in case.  
  
The beautiful Lily Evans was sorted into Gryffindor and James felt an incontrollable sense of longing fill his heart, he had to be in Gryffindor, he just had to be!  
  
After an eternity of waiting, his name was called. Sirius was in Gryffindor as well as Lily, he would die if he didn't get into that house.  
  
He approached the stool.  
  
"GO JAMES GO JAMES! JAMES POTTER FOR GRYFFINDOR!" Sirius stood up and yelled again, "JAMES, JAMES, JAMES, HE'S OUR MAN."  
  
The two boys on either side of Sirius grabbed his arms and yanked him back into the sitting position, James gave both of them a look of pure gratitude.  
  
No sooner had the sorting hat touched his head when it shouted, "RIGHT MR. BLACK YOU CAN SHUT UP NOW AND STOP GIVING THE ENTIRE SCHOOL A HEAD ACHE BECAUSE MR. POTTER IS IN GRYFFINDOR!"  
  
"YES!" Sirius was up again, "WELL DONE JAMES! BRAVO!"  
  
James ran to the Gryffindor table was fast as his legs would carry him, wedged himself in-between Sirius and the boy next to him and hauled on Sirius's arm making him sit down again, "You're an idiot, Sirius."  
  
Sirius pretended to be offended, "What me? Do you mean to tell me that you weren't pleased to have your own cheerleading squad.well I must confess I'm hurt."  
  
At the front of the great hall, an old man tapped his glass for attention, "On behalf of all the staff, I welcome you to a new year at Hogwarts. I am professor Dumbledore head of this establishment. I would like to thank Mr. Sirius Black for the most enthusiastic cheering at a sorting ceremony that Hogwarts has ever seen, let the banquet begin."  
  
Sirius held out his hand to James, who shook it, "Welcome to the beginnings of a glorious year, Mr. Potter. What say we locate the kitchens after dinner? No sense in not knowing where the prime facilities are at this school."  
  
James smiled happily to himself, He was in for one hell of a year. 


	3. Year 1:The Early Morning Quest

Dedication: This chapter is dedicated to SpakleOwl and Raaaauuuull.  
  
Thanks: I would just like to say thank you to everyone who is reading and reviewing this story! Your comments and praise mean a lot to me!  
  
  
  
James eyes fluttered open, to his surprise and horror; they gazed right into a dark pair of black ones that were glittering with mischief.  
  
"Good Morning, sleepy" Sirius greeted him, his voice annoyingly cheerful, "Planning to sleep the day away?"  
  
James gazed groggily around him, the surroundings still seemed foreign, the three large poster beds, the large chests; and he couldn't help resenting the absence of his grandfather clock, "What.What time is it?"  
  
"Five thirty."  
  
James gave a start, "Sirius, are you mad? Breakfast isn't until eight!"  
  
Sirius shrugged, "I've been up for an hour. Besides, we can't exactly go snooping around the castle in broad daylight, now can we?" Sirius grabbed hold of James' covers and with an almighty heave pulled them clean off the bed, to reveal James in his boxers. Sirius shuddered, "Ugh, James. How completely indecent! Haven't you ever heard of wearing pyjamas? You'd better be glad our roommate hasn't arrived yet, he might overlook your faults as easily as I do."  
  
"Thanks Sirius, I appreciate the great horrors you must be putting yourself through to look at me in my boxers." James said sarcastically.  
  
"Don't mention it. Its what friends are for. Get dressed." Sirius threw a set of black robes and a Gryffindor tie at James. He then knotted his own tie. James sat on his bed sleepily rubbing his eyes.  
  
"Well?" demanded Sirius irritably when James made no movement to put the clothes on, "Does the baby need me to dress him? Is putting on a robe to difficult for the baby?"  
  
The taunting simulated James' brain and in five minutes he was ready and looking a good deal better than Sirius, who had tied his tie wrong.  
  
"Right," James said, "Where're we off to today?"  
  
"Well, I thought seeing as we're going to need breakfast anyway, we might as well find the kitchens?"  
  
"Good idea."  
  
"And I found something that might help us. This little portrait of a Knight, called Sir Kitty or something; well he seems quite ready to go off 'questing' maybe he'll help us."  
  
"When did you have time to find that?"  
  
Sirius grinned evilly, "I told you that I'd been up for an hour, didn't I? What do you think I did with that hour? Sat on my lazy arse?"  
  
"I expected you'd been dressing?"  
  
"FOR AN HOUR? Your madder than I'd ever imagined, James."  
  
"Knowing what a vain peacock you are, I'd have thought an hour was mandatory and that given the chance you'd take two hours maybe more. I mean just look at how immaculately you've dressed yourself this morning, it would take me all day to that!"  
  
Sirius scowled, "Do you want to find the kitchens or not?"  
  
The rumbling in James' stomach was all the answer he got, and it was all that was needed.  
  
In a matter of minutes the two boys had exited Gryffindor tower and run all the way to the other side of the school. They were completely out of breath, James felt ready to collapse and die.  
  
"Back again, are you? Are we off to quest?" a shrill voice shouted. James looked up to see a picture of a knight sitting on a board a tiny fat little pony.  
  
"James Potter, this is Sir Kitty." Sirius said as he attempted to catch his breath.  
  
A look of horror crossed the tiny knight's face, "SIR KITTY!" he wailed, "SIR KITTY! I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO INSULTED! AND BY A MERE LAD NONE THE LESS! DRAW YOUR SWORD AND FIGHT, CUR!"  
  
"Oh shut up." mumbled Sirius.  
  
James shot Sirius a 'we need his help don't blow it' look and said in his politest tone, "Please sir knight, by what name may we address you?"  
  
The little man puffed up his chest, "If ever you need an ally with which to fight, If ever you need a man of might, Call upon Sir Cadogan, the knight."  
  
"Umm.right, Sir Cadogan. Well we are starving, we have no food, can you show us to where the kitchens are? The route is perilous and we shall meet lots of danger, it is our quest to find food!" James said dramatically hoping to inspire the knight.  
  
"Good sir," said the knight, who appeared to be deep in thought, he pointed at Sirius, "Is this, horribly rude person your valet or servant?"  
  
Sirius snorted "Umm.yes." said James quickly.  
  
The knight sighed, "Then I suppose I must not run him through with my sword, it wouldn't be chivalrous to slay the valet of a fellow knight, especially one of quality; such as yourself, Sir James Potter." the knight bowed deeply.  
  
"Thanks, I think."  
  
"However," said the knight in a grave tone, glaring at Sirius, "I must tell you, servant, that you have been acting, most above your station tonight, and I would advise your master, that when we arrive at the kitchens of this great castle to have the cook beat you soundly, so that you may understand how to treat a noble."  
  
Sirius nearly fell over he was trying so hard to hold back his laughter, Sir Cadogan however mistook the shaking in Sirius' shoulders for fear, "Do not tremble so, if you behave yourself in a seemly manner throughout this quest, I shall ask your pardon from good Sir James Potter."  
  
James gazed at Sirius with a stern look on his face, "So see you behave, my young rascal."  
  
The effect was too much for Sirius; he collapsed on the floor, laughing hysterically.  
  
Sir Cadogan, however, was too high up to see Sirius, and so he thought that Sirius was crying, "You are most definitely a servant, your lack of backbone would shame any knight, however, as you are but a valet I cannot blame you for fearing your master's wrath."  
  
"Before we set off, I need to have a quick word with my servant about his atrocious behaviour, in private?"  
  
"Of course, good sir, when you have finished simply call me." Cadogan disappeared into the frame beside him and covered his ears.  
  
"Sirius," James hissed, "You'd better start acting like a servant if you want this to work. Start addressing me as 'sir' and speak only if we speak to you, got it?"  
  
"Yes, sir." said Sirius loudly and ironically.  
  
Raising his voice, James called, "My good Sir Cadogan, we are ready to set off!"  
  
"Ah! Good! Forward Sir!" yelled Sir Cadogan as he raced off.  
  
James and Sirius raced after him as he darted from frame to frame. The made their way down the stairs and into the school dungeons.  
  
Sir Cadogan paused, "What say we rest for a moment, Sir James Potter?"  
  
"Yes," gasped James, "Is it much farther?"  
  
"No, not far. Do not lose heart, good sir!"  
  
"Oh," said James with a jaunty air, "I do not fear for myself, only that my servant might collapse from exhaustion."  
  
"What is your name, cur?" Cadogan asked Sirius.  
  
"Sirius, sir."  
  
"Hmm." said the knight, "I shall remember your name, dog, for my own servant has been dead many knights." he turned to James, "If ever I should need him, would you lend him to me?"  
  
"Oh, yes. Of course." then he added quickly, "As a way for him to pay you for his rudeness, good knight."  
  
Sirius eyes were dancing, James began to worry that he would burst into laughter, "Shall we continue?" he asked.  
  
Sir Cadogan ran off again, the two boys followed him as fast as they could possibly move. A minute later, they arrived at small statue of a house elf."  
  
"Fill their tums, fill them up!" shouted Sir Cadogan and the house elf melted to reveal a staircase, "This is where we part good Sir James Potter! I look forward to seeing you another time! And Sirius, see you serve your master well! Sir James Potter, pray do not be harsh with the lad, he has mended his ways well."  
  
"I won't be, don't worry." James responded  
  
"Well, then." Sir Cadogan shouted as he turned and began running the other way, "Feast until your hearts content, young knight! Until we meet again!"  
  
He then raced off, leaving the boys alone. 


	4. Year 1: The cursed hallway corner and wh...

After having eaten more than either of them had in their lives, James and Sirius bade the elves good bye and quickly (they were running way behind schedule) made their way through the winding hallways of Hogwarts castle to their first class, which was, to both the boys' bitter disappointment, Muggle Studies.  
  
"What's the point of coming to this school if we're just going to learn Muggle things anyway?" Sirius demanded as they ran, "I mean, god, how boring could they make our first day? MUGGLE STUDIES!"  
  
"At least I already know all about Muggles," James panted, "My parents made my go to a muggle primary school, I know all about them, I'm guaranteed a good mark."  
  
Sirius grinned evilly as they rounded the corridor's corner, "You wanna fail with me, just for the heck of it?"  
  
WHUMPH! James, who had turned to look at Sirius while he was talking ran straight into a woman.  
  
The woman, was a shrewd faced witch, who had previously been wearing a pointed hat (it had fallen off on impact with James body), she adjusted her glasses. James was horrified, Oh no! he thought It's the first day, and I've already succeeded in ploughing into my head of house.  
  
"Mr. Potter, perhaps our first lesson in Transfiguration should be to turn your seemingly useless eyes into a working pair?" Professor McGonagall glared at him, "And," she included Sirius in her gaze as she continued, "I have been looking for the pair of you all morning. I had hoped to introduce you to your house and year mate over breakfast, but, I was unable to find either of you at the breakfast table."  
  
Sirius grinned, James squirmed guiltily.  
  
"I'm not going to ask you where you've been," the professor continued, "I'm just going to take you to my office right now so you can meet, Remus. I've already been to see Professor Rubberduck to excuse you from glass - surprisingly you weren't at class either. Tell me, Mr. Potter, Mr. Black, can I expect to find you at any of the appropriate places for the rest of the year? Tell me now, so that if I ever need to find you, I'll know where not to look."  
  
Sirius gazed innocently at McGonagall, "We were running late, Professor."  
  
"Yes," added James quickly, "Over slept and all."  
  
"That you are running behind time is obvious, Mr. Black. Mr. Potter, as to your over sleeping habits.I am less than convinced."  
  
Sirius and James exchanged worried looks. McGonagall grabbed them each by the arm, "Come, you two. I'm holding on to you, so that I run no risk of having to find you again."  
  
The Professor marched her prisoners down the corridors at a brisk pace, far too brisk, for two boys who had been running enough to qualify for a marathon that morning. She led them back into Gryffindor tower, to the very top, into a small office.  
  
In one of the office chairs, sat a small boy. His eyes were dark purple and sunken. He looked as if he had very recently been ill. Seeing them, he produced a small smile.  
  
"Remus," Professor McGonagall, "I have found your roommates, who claim that they overslept this morning, and therefore missed breakfast. Did, you not, Mr. Lupin go into their room this morning and find them gone?"  
  
"Well, I did not find them there." said the boy  
  
Professor McGonagall turned to the two 'over sleepers', "I don't know were the two of you have been, but obviously not were you should have been. We do not first year students wandering around the campus in the middle of the night. If you had bothered to read the Hogwarts Student Handbook which, judging by the fact that you were running in the halls you obviously have not, you would have found that being out of bed at night is strictly forbidden. You will both receive detention."  
  
Sirius gave Remus a piercing stare. For a moment, James felt very sorry for Remus.  
  
The small boy appeared to be doing some extremely quick thinking,  
  
"Professor." he said a moment later, "When I said that I didn't find them there, I didn't strictly mean they weren't in there bedroom."  
  
"Oh really, Mr. Lupin?" McGonagall asked mildly.  
  
"Yes," Lupin replied quickly, "I didn't find them sitting around, they're bed curtains were drawn, so I didn't look in them. But I couldn't hear and snoring so I simply assumed they weren't in the room. I don't think its fair for you to punish them for my bad assumptions." he turned to Sirius, who now had a look of astonishment on his face, "Forgive me, but I've just never roomed with anyone who didn't snore in the past."  
  
The Professor looked at Lupin for a long hard moment and finally said, "Fine. Your detentions are retracted. I cannot prove you weren't in your rooms, even though I seriously doubt Mr. Lupin assumed any thing. You are free to go."  
  
As soon as they were out the door, Sirius exclaimed, "That was bloody brilliant! You getting us out of trouble and all!"  
  
"Yeah, thanks!" James said gratefully. Remus grinned slyly, "I haven't the faintest idea what you're talking about. I was simply reiterating my statement so Professor McGonagall could fully understand it."  
  
"You know," said Sirius as they walked down the tower steps, "I was about to pound you for getting me detention! And then you saved our arses, now I want to kiss you!"  
  
"Refrain, if you please?" Remus asked, looking horrified, he took a step away from Sirius.  
  
"He was joking." James supplied.  
  
"Oh." said Remus sounding shocked, "I'm sorry, I didn't realize."  
  
"God," laughed Sirius, "You're friends at home, must be really serious!"  
  
"I don't have any friends."  
  
James and Sirius both turned to stare at Remus, "But.but.your so cool!" Sirius managed to get out, "I mean, you seem nice, and you know how to cover up a trail!"  
  
"Oh, well.there's something you should know about me. I'm a bit of a freak."  
  
"It doesn't matter." said Sirius cheerfully, "Just look at James and I, we go on quests with paintings, if that isn't freakish, I don't know what is."  
  
"And, we're in the process of planning to swindle every single Ravenclaw out of their money by playing at chess." James put in.  
  
"No, you don't understand." pursued Remus solemnly, "I'm not a freak in the normal sense, I mean, I'm really weird, like there is something wrong with me."  
  
"Oh, we don't care. So long as you up to a bit of fun, whatever's wrong with you can be easily overlooked. James sleeps in his boxers - disgusting habit, its foul - but I overlook that because our half naked friend, is my partner in crime."  
  
"Really?" Remus asked, "You don't care if I'm.different?"  
  
"Of course not!" Sirius beamed at Remus, "If you were normal, we'd be severely disappointed."  
  
"Can't have anyone normal in Dorm 14." laughed James, "The normal person would stick out like a sore thumb."  
  
Remus allowed himself a small smile.  
  
The reached the end of the corridor leading to the Muggle Studies classroom, they rounded the corner and .  
  
WHUMPH! James knocked into something for the second time that day, it appeared this corner was out to get him.  
  
Sirius burst out laughing, "James you clumsy oaf! Can't you ever watch where your going!" Then his gaze diverted to the floor, where a greasy haired, scowling boy was seated, "James, while you are clumsy, I must congratulate you on selecting an excellent target, truly well done."  
  
Severus stood up a dusted himself off, "Sirius, why aren't you in class? I'm going to go tell, and get you into trouble! Your mom is going to kill you, first day of school, and skipping! Oh your going to die!" Snape laughed in a giddy way, that made James wonder what Severus had been inhaling.  
  
Sirius it seemed was wondering the same thing, "Severus, I'm going to have to tell your mom to keep the PVA glue well out of your reach. James and I have been pulled out of class by Professor McGonagall so that we might meet our new roommate."  
  
"You expect me to buy that, Sirius! You're mad! No, don't try to convince me into not telling, I want to see you in detention yet!"  
  
"But its true!" protested James  
  
Snape glared at him, "Why should I believe you?" he sneered, "You're in league with the enemy."  
  
Snape, turned a flew down the hallway as fast as he could, a definite look of purpose in his step.  
  
"Oh well," said Remus calmly, "Its his own fault if he looks like an idiot. Should be funny though, to watch him tattaling to Professor McGonagall, wish we could watch."  
  
"Yes," said Sirius wistfully, "Although, I'm sure Severus will do many more idiotic things when we can witness them, I should start a book.The mistakes, idiotic notions and irritating greasiness of Severus Snape."  
  
"Come on," said James grabbing Sirius' arm, "We should get to class before Snape's complaint to McGonagall becomes reality." 


	5. Year 1: OOO CHEEKY CHEEKY!

Authors Note: THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO REVIEWED!!!! I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!! As I'm sure I've said countless times, I love it when people review/instant message me when they like my fiction, it gives me encouragement! Please enjoy!  
  
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&  
  
"James, could you please tell me the three most hazardous types of Muggles?"  
  
James started. He had been half asleep, reclining peacefully against his Muggle studies textbook, reflecting over his first week at Hogwarts.  
  
Turning bright red, he stammered, "Could you repeat the question please, Professor?"  
  
Professor Rubberduck heaved a huge exaggerated sigh, "Uh. James! You must pay attention, what if I decided to give a pop quiz? Fine, Mr. Black."  
  
Sirius grinned smugly at James and said in an innocent voice, "Bad pop stars, example: The Cheeky girls - they might sing you to death and in the face of such horrendous music some of your senses might dessert you, Journalists - the buggers see everything and write it all down, they can easily spot you doing magic and will inform the whole Muggle community, they are particularly horrible because they can make up lies and everyone will believe them and Jehovah Witnesses, because they move in packs and will shout gospel messages at you until your ears explode."  
  
James scowled and kicked Sirius under the desk.  
  
Professor Rubberduck beamed at Sirius, "Well done, Mr. Black. I see you've been paying attention - and obviously done your homework very completely, well done for knowing Muggle music genres and stars! Ten points for Gryffindor."  
  
"Oh yeah." James mumbled to Sirius, "You did your homework completely, more like, you completely copied mine."  
  
"Mr. Potter!" Rubberduck shrieked, "Talking in my class! Well I never! Five points from Gryffindor!"  
  
Remus leaned over to James, "Shut your yap, Potter."  
  
"Professor Rubberduck is annoying." James replied, "I was only responding to Sirius' know-it-all answer, which I may add, he got from me!"  
  
"MR. POTTER! I HAVE HAD IT UP TO HERE WITH YOU! LEAVE MY CLASSROOM AT ONCE!"  
  
The bell rang.  
  
"Oh, alright children." Said Professor Rubberduck, "Please remember to memorize the Cheeky Song for class on Wednesday, dismissed."  
  
The students flooded out of the classroom. Tripping and stumbling over one another, Muggle Studies was the last class of the day, and everyone was ready to end the hard day of studying.  
  
James was the first out of the classroom, quickly followed by Remus and Sirius, he was hungry and a visit to the kitchens sounded good.  
  
"Turning into quite the little bookworm, aren't we, Black?" a drawling voice behind them said.  
  
Sirius whirled around, "Snape, go shove your foul head up your arse and get away from me."  
  
"Oooo," Snape taunted, "Temper. Temper." He turned and walked down the hall, sniggering to Lucius Malfoy as he went.  
  
Sirius' eyes were snake like with rage, "I'll get him. The little git."  
  
Remus laid a hand on Sirius' shoulder, "I know what will make us all happy, lets go get a nice big snack at the kitchens, shall we?"  
  
The suggestion sounded good to all, and the boys padded off in the direction of the dungeons. They soon arrived at the small statue of the house elf and a moment later were standing on the threshold of the large Hogwarts kitchens.  
  
The Hogwarts kitchens were unlike any kitchens seen by anyone Muggle or wizard alike, they were huge. Containing over a hundred ovens and more than a thousand cupboards. Millions of little elves scurried around like ants, talking and laughing as they stirred, mixed and baked.  
  
Seeing the boys, one of the elves toddled over. She was smiling and as she walked she dusted the crumbs off her apron.  
  
"Can I help you?" she asked pleasantly.  
  
"Give us everything you can think of." Sirius said, his mouth watering at the prospect of food.  
  
Trays of food were produced seconds later and the three boys began to eat at the speed of light.  
  
As the feast of confectionary progressed, Sirius was unusually quiet.  
  
"Hey, Sirius," Remus asked, "What's up with you? You're quiet."  
  
"Well, I was just thinking. Snape's a bit daft, as I'm sure we all know. Don't you think it would be nice to help him out with his homework?"  
  
Remus eyed Sirius suspiciously, "Do I smell a plot?"  
  
Sirius grinned evilly and turned to one of the elves, "Excuse me, do you think that you could let me perform a .umm.cheering charm on the chicken for the Slytherin table?"  
  
The elf gave Sirius a quizzical look, "They are unhappy?"  
  
"Yes," said Sirius quickly, "Most unhappy. I want to cheer them up."  
  
The elf smiled and led Sirius into the swarming beehive of the kitchens. James and Remus waited patiently for a half an hour before getting fed up.  
  
"Lets, leave" James said to Remus, "Sirius can meet us at dinner, it starts in fifteen minutes."  
  
The two boys proceeded to the great hall and took their seats at the Gryffindor table. Sirius arrived only a moment later, completely out of breath and looking very pleased with himself.  
  
The plates in front of them filled magically and the entire student (and faculty) body commenced eating.  
  
Sirius, however, was not eating, he kept looking over his shoulder at the Slytherin table. He was squirming in his seat, and seemed barely able to contain his excitement. James prepared himself for a long dose of laughter.  
  
All of a sudden, a very large POP, filled the great hall. Everyone turned around. The Slytherins, were now dressed in golden shorts, that were so short that they only just covered their bums, and red tank tops.  
  
One by one, they clamoured onto the Slytherin table, some had a look of panic on their faces, it seemed their legs were refusing to obey their brains.  
  
Sirius grabbed James and Remus and forced them to turn around, "LOOK!" he said excitedly, "It's working!"  
  
The Slytherins then began to sing, softly at first, then getting louder, "Ooo..girls, cheeky boys. Ooo, boys cheeky girls."  
  
Everyone in the great hall exploded with laughter, even the teachers seemed to be having trouble controlling themselves, all except, Professor Rubberduck, who looked decidedly unamused.  
  
The Slytherins began to twirl, "Never ever ask, what do you do. Never ever ask, what do you say. Never ever ask, what's in your mind. Never ever ask, if you'll be mine. Come and smile. Don't be shy."  
  
They began to slap their rears in earnest, all of them blushing, but seemingly unable to do anything about their predicament.  
  
"Touch, my bum. This is life. Oooo..we are the cheeky girls! You are the cheeky boys!"  
  
Sirius had fallen on the floor he was laughing so hard, he rolled and clutched his stomach.  
  
"OOO! CHEEKY CHEEKY!" concluded the Slytherins, suddenly the golden pants and tops were replaced by their Hogwarts robs. They rushed to sit down again.  
  
Sirius was howling with laughter, pointing at a bright red Severus.  
  
When the banquet was over, Sirius, James and Remus caught up with the Slytherins.  
  
Sirius tapped Snape on the shoulder and grinned broadly, "Cheeky, Cheeky, Severus!"  
  
Snape turned and fled.  
  
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&  
  
I hope you all liked that! For those of you who aren't British, the Cheeky Song is an actual song that is masquerading as music here in Britain. Those are the actual words to the "Cheeky Song". Please r & r even if you didn't think it was funny! 


	6. Year 1: The Most Powerful Spells

Authors Note: Once again, thanks to *everyone who reviewed! Special thanks to *Marzoog who has been listening patiently to my ramblings about the plot of this story over the phone, and for her help in the development of a few of the new characters in this chapter (. I would also like to congratulate *Raaaauuuull on finding the courage to go to London and try out for The Series of Unforgettable Events - just want you to know Fibbic that whatever happens at those auditions - all your friends are proud of you for trying and we love you (. Also; thanks to *everyone who has been adding my story to your favourites list / adding me to your favourite authors list, you have no idea how special that makes me feel and I love you for doing so. Sorry for the long authors' note this time, but its all praising you guys, so I didn't think you'd mind  
  
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$  
  
James slammed down his book in exasperation, the level of noise in the Gryffindor common room made studying impossible. Even though it was only the second week of school, his professors had felt the urge to jump right into their units and James found himself swamped with homework.  
  
Sirius sat on the couch next to him deeply immersed in a chess match with Remus. He had been caught cheating during the first round by Remus and was now scowling deeply. Probably, James thought, because the game was not in his favour.  
  
"Check, mate." Remus said grinning as he moved his knight into the square that formerly been occupied by Sirius' king.  
  
"Either of you planning to do any homework?" James asked.  
  
"Yeah, I'll get around to it eventually," Remus said as he packed up the chess board.  
  
"Why bother." Sirius snapped moodily, "I'll never finish it all, so I might as well not do any of it, that way the teachers don't think I'm playing favourites."  
  
"I don't think that's a very good philosophy." said a girlish voice behind them.  
  
The boys whirled around. A short girl stood frowning at them, her hair was in neat briads and her eyes were locked on Sirius. James could detect a definite look of displeasure in her green eyes.  
  
"Excuse me," said Sirius irritably, "But I was talking to James, not you."  
  
"Well!" huffed the girl her cheeks going red, "If your going to talk loud enough for the whole common room to hear, you have to be ready to allow someone else to join your conversation!"  
  
"No one else has!" Sirius yelled, "They all know to mind their own bloody business!"  
  
"Don't shout at me! I've a right to enter any conversation I've a mind too.6" The girl hollered, projecting her voice loud enough for everyone to hear, all of Gryffindor house turned to stare.  
  
"I'LL SHOUT AT YOU IF I WANT TO, BITCH!" Sirius hollered back rising from the couch, "WHY DON'T YOU JUST PISS OFF, YOU LITTLE COW!"  
  
Remus got up and pulled Sirius back down onto the couch, "Sirius, shut up, act your age."  
  
"Well then, tell that little she devil to." Sirius mumbled  
  
Suddenly, without any warning what so ever, the short girl began to cry. She didn't cry loudly, but tears flowed silently down her cheeks.  
  
James stared horrified, he couldn't help but feel a bit responsible, and he had never seen a girl cry before, "Oh.please.stop." he stammered very unsure of what to say.  
  
Remus took charge of the situation, grabbing Sirius by the collar he hauled him off the couch and ordered, "Apologize to the girl, you've hurt her feelings."  
  
"I don't give a shit." Sirius murmured  
  
James and Remus turned to stare at Sirius, "SIRIUS!" they said together, "APOLOGIZE NOW!"  
  
"Yes, Marissa, I think you ought to, too." this voice was different, it was melodic, it sounded like angel. James turned, it was an angel, his angel, his little red haired angel from the sorting ceremony.  
  
"After all," she continued, brushing a strand of her red hair behind her ears, "You did start the fight by eavesdropping."  
  
"Fine," muttered Marissa giving Sirius a look of pure loathing, "I'm sorry."  
  
Remus kicked Sirius in the leg, "OUCH! I'm sorry too, I guess."  
  
The angel put a hand on her friends' back, and smiled at James (at least James liked to imagine that she had smiled specifically at him) "I'm Lily Evans, and this Marissa Hagman. As we haven't been properly introduced, perhaps we could do that now? It would benefit Missi here, and your friend with the temper, to at least know the names of their new arch enemies." She smiled again, revealing all of her perfect white teeth to James, in a heavenly smile. He stared at those teeth.  
  
"Remus Lupin." Remus stepped forward and looked at Missi, "I'm terribly sorry about my friend, he has no manners. We're trying to educate him, but he's like a puppy - a very slow learner."  
  
Sirius narrowed his eyes at Remus, "Sirius Black, and it is a pleasure to meet you, Miss Evans." it was obvious to everyone that he had skipped out Marissa on purpose.  
  
Lily took this brilliantly, "Pleased to meet you too. This is Missi, I don't believe you addressed her, perhaps you forgot?"  
  
"Yes," said Sirius through gritted teeth, "Nice to meet you, Bitchy? Was it?"  
  
"Pleased to make your acquaintance butthead." Marissa spat.  
  
"Hey, take it easy!" Remus interjected before another harsh word could be said, "We all want to be friends here, declare a truce, if you please?"  
  
"Truce." said Marissa, holding out to her hand to shake Sirius's.  
  
Grudgingly, Sirius took it, "Truce."  
  
"There now," said Lily giving Sirius a warm smile that made James' stomach do a flip, "That wasn't so bad, was it?"  
  
She looked at James, "What's your name, then?"  
  
"Umm.Umm." James felt like an idiot, but he couldn't concentrate on her question, only the beautiful lips that formed it.  
  
"His name is James Potter and he likes you." Sirius supplied helpfully, then looking at Remus with a mischievous glint in his eye, he said, "He's like a puppy - we're trying to teach him how to answer simple questions, but he's such a slow learner."  
  
Lily giggled, "Does he now? Well I must confess, I'm honoured. James, do you think you could explain the potions homework to me? Over there?" She pointed to a couch on the other side of the common room.  
  
"Yes!" said James quickly, very quickly.  
  
"Thanks! I'll owe you one. Get your stuff and meet me over there.". James went bright red. Lily and Marissa returned to the other side of the common room, leaving James to gave up his materials.  
  
"Not bad, Potter." Sirius commented, "Second week of school, and you've already got yourself a girlfriend."  
  
"She's not my girlfriend." James mumbled flushing a deeper shade of red.  
  
"Oh, but she will be." Sirius sounded like a prophet of doom, "She likes you, I can see it."  
  
"Shut up, Sirius." James finished packing up and ambled over to the other side of the room.  
  
"He's been bewitched." Sirius said to Remus.  
  
"Poor bastard, he can't even see it happening. There should be a law against the kind of spell Lily's put on him."  
  
Sirius smiled knowingly, "The most powerful spells are the ones that don't require books, wands or cauldrons." 


	7. Year 1:Bullying the Bullies

Authors Note: It is popular belief that JK Rowling has said that the Marauders are in Gryffindor. Not so; prior to writing this chapter, I have re-read book 3 and skimmed all the others as well as briefly looked over a few interviews with JK. There is no reference to the house of the Marauders. I have placed Peter in Hufflepuff - yes, I am aware that one of the prime qualities of the Hufflepuffs is loyalty, but Peter may have been more loyal as a child than as an adult. People change; the shorting hat doesn't make allowances for this. Please enjoy! Even though Peter is now entering the plot - I'm going to try and exclude him as much as possible - sorry to everyone who likes Peter *shudders* I cannot imagine what kind of people like Peter! Dedicated to: MOOSE BECAUSE I LOVE HER LOADS!  
  
************************************************************************  
  
James sat on a bench, absorbing the warmth of the sun in the cool December air. Sirius sat opposite him, brow furrowed in thought; he was puzzling over his potions homework - possibly the only piece of homework he'd done yet that year. Remus was ill and was in the hospital wing.  
  
"Jamie?" Sirius asked lazily, "You going home for Christmas?"  
  
"Yeah, if I didn't, mum would slaughter me."  
  
Sirius grinned, "You're lucky. My parents decided to take off to Wales for the holidays. I'm stuck here with the bitch woman, aka Sarah."  
  
"You could come home with me?" James offered.  
  
"Seriously?" Sirius asked sceptically  
  
"Yeah! My mum would be delighted if you came, she has this obsession with visitors. We'd love to have you, as long as you're prepared to have my mum test loads of new recipes on you. One of her many hobbies."  
  
Their conversation was suddenly interrupted, a small boy ran screaming out of the castle doors and quickly hid behind James' bench.  
  
"Please!" he panted, "Please, hide me!"  
  
"What?" Sirius asked, laughing, "Why?"  
  
"Malfoy_Snape_thier gonna curse me!"  
  
"You hardly need to be frightened of Severus! His curses are pathetic." Sirius laughed even harder.  
  
"Maybe to you." the boy whined, "But I'm the most pathetic at magic of anybody alive, I'll get killed!" "PETTIGREW!" they heard Snape's shrill voice call, "Come out you little weasel."  
  
"Come here now, Peter." Lucius's icy voice drawled, "And we'll be gentle with you."  
  
"Oi! Snape!" Sirius yelled, "Looking for him?" he pointed at Peter.  
  
"Please." begged Pettigrew, "Please don't let him get me!"  
  
Snape looked at Sirius, "Yes, as a matter of fact." he and Malfoy quickly made their way over to the bench, "Never thought, I'd say it, but: Thank you, Sirius."  
  
Sirius grinned wickedly, "Always happy to oblige. What's he done to you then, Severus?"  
  
Snape looked slightly embarrassed, he turned beat red, "Well.nothing. He's just.umm.pathetic.and a umm.bit weak. So we .erm.pick on him?"  
  
"Oh you pick on him do you?" Sirius asked an he exchanged looks with James, "James, I think Severus and Lucius and are bit pathetic don't you?"  
  
"Yes," agreed James, "And certainly a bit weak."  
  
"My thought line exactly, my dear James. So how about, we pick on them?"  
  
Sirius whipped out his wand and pointed it straight at Snape, James pointed his at Lucius. They advanced towards the Slytherins with slow menacing movements, soft smiles curling their lips. They looked like executioners.  
  
"FUBBERGUSTRE!" Sirius shouted and Snape paled, a moment later, slugs were crawling up his legs they were coming from everywhere on the Hogwarts campus. Snape took off running, followed closely by Malfoy. They disappeared into the castle in flash running like the devil.  
  
"Thank you!" Peter shouted and he hugged Sirius.  
  
Sirius grimaced and begun untangling himself from Pettigrew's arms, "Don't mention it. Peter? is it?"  
  
"Yes!" cried the boy happily, "And you're Sirius? And James?" they nodded and he rambled on, "Well, I have to go to class now! But I will see you! Later, guys!"  
  
"I feel good." Sirius remarked as Pettigrew skipped happily off, "We did a good deed, James."  
  
"Remus, would be so proud of us."  
  
"I know, pity he isn't here. Not very healthy is he? He's always sick! Just last month, he missed two days!"  
  
"I know," James said, "Maybe, we should go an visit him or something. I mean, I hate it when I'm sick and I get left alone."  
  
"Let's go. Before Snape and Malfoy get back for some revenge."  
  
They plodded off merrily to the hospital wing, trudging through the mud and slush of England's December. They arrived very muddy, very cheerful and very ready to see Remus.  
  
A bony petite little woman greeted them at the entrance of the hospital wing, "Can I help you, boys?"  
  
"Yes," James said earnestly, "We're here to visit Remus Lupin."  
  
A shocked expression crossed Madame Pomphrey's face, "I'm.I'm sorry boys." she stammered, "But that won't be possible.Remus.is umm.sleeping."  
  
"Oh right." they commented together. James couldn't help feeling a bit disappointed.  
  
"Well," he said to Sirius, "I'll write my mum this evening, I'm sure it will be all right if you come for Christmas. I'm sure your sister will be most cut up that you're leaving her." 


	8. Year 1Christmas: Sirius' Theory

Authors Note: Yay, its taken me a while to get this chapter up. Sorry about that. Hope you like it! There won't be anymore for the next few weeks as I have a lot of tests going on.  
  
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^  
  
The train whistle blew and the Hogwarts express slowly pulled out of the station, James gazed sadly out the window as his second home disappeared into the distance. The tall towers of Hogwarts, vanished behind the trees.  
  
Sirius sat leaning against the window, impatiently drumming his fingers on the sill. His dark brows were knitted and a scowl played across his lips. All of sudden, his expression cleared and a smile replaced the frown.  
  
"Told your mother about your girlfriend yet, Potter?" he demanded  
  
James narrowed his eyes at his friend, "What are you smoking, Sirius? You know better than anyone that I haven't got a girlfriend."  
  
Sirius smirked, "Oh sure you don't. You go help that Evans girl with her homework on an almost-nightly-basis. You make us sit with her at meals. Your always staring at her during classes.face the music, Potter, you've got yourself a girlfriend and a damn hot one at that."  
  
James' flushed, his normally pale face becoming redder than Lily's hair. He starred at the floor, not knowing what to say to Sirius.  
  
Sirius screwed up his lips into a mock pout, "Oh come on, Jamesie, don't disappoint me. I was all ready with something to say when you denied you have a crush on Evans."  
  
James glared at Sirius, his expression sour, "Well, then you'll be sorely disappointed because, I do like Lily, so there." He stuck out his tongue.  
  
Sirius eyes seemed to be bulging out of his head, his mouth was gaping slightly. He was the picture of shock, and James couldn't help laughing at him.  
  
"My god, Black, you look so funny!" he chortled.  
  
Sirius put his fingers in his ears and swished them around, "Excuse me? I did I hear you correctly? Did you just admit to me that you like Evans?"  
  
"Yeah, but your worse, YOU like Hagman!"  
  
The 'picture of shock' expression was once again present on Sirius's face, "ARE YOU INSANE!" he shouted. "I HATE THE LITTLE SHE DEVIL!"  
  
It was James' turn to smirk, "Yeah.right.whatever you say, Sirius."  
  
KNOCK KNOCK! A stout witch stood outside the compartment door, she pushed a small trolley loaded to the brim with sweets. James' could feel drool winding it's way down his chin. Her chubby hand was raised and she rapped again on the compartment window - KNOCK KNOCK!  
  
"Anything off the trolley, dears?" she asked, her voice was rich and motherly and reminded James of his own mother. A bubble of happiness welled up inside him, he couldn't wait to see her, and he was sure she would adore Sirius.  
  
Sirius ordered the largest collection of food James had ever seen, ten chocolate frogs, several boxes of Berty Bott's Every Flavour Beans, more croissants shaped like toads than James' had ever seen, as well as one of everything else on the trolley. He himself, only purchased two chocolate frogs, knowing full well that his mother would feed him a very large meal when he and Sirius arrived at his house.  
  
The pair munched in silence until Sirius broke the calm.  
  
"Too bad, Remus isn't here. We could have a jolly good time." he mumbled, his mouth stuffed with toad croissant.  
  
"I know! But he's SICK AGAIN! Honestly, I think we should advise him to see a specialist."  
  
"You know, James, I've been doing a bit of research."  
  
Sirius was interrupted by a loud snort of laughter from James, the snort quickly turned into a fully fledged fit of hysterics. The fit only ceased when James began to choke on the chocolate frog he had been eating.  
  
"What?" Sirius demanded irritably.  
  
"I don't know," James chuckled, "Its just the whole concept of, YOU doing research."  
  
Sirius narrowed his eyes, "Oh haha, Your a regular riot, you are."  
  
James grinned, "Anyways, as you were saying?"  
  
Sirius drew himself up and assumed a haughty air, "Yes, as I was saying before you so rudely interrupted, I have been doing a bit of research."  
  
He was again interrupted by a loud snort from James.  
  
"STOP IT! I have been researching about Remus, and I have a bit of theory. Mind you, it may be a loud of bullshit, but."  
  
James was interested now, "Well, get on with it!" "Yes.well, I think he might be a werewolf."  
  
Sirius paused for a moment to allow his statement to take its effect. James starred at his best friend, "Sirius, I think you've lost it. Remus can't be a.a.werewolf!"  
  
"Oh, and why is that?"  
  
"Well.he's.nice.and.our friend?"  
  
"Here, listen to my arguments before you attempt to jump to conclusions. First, Remus is always sick when there is a full moon. Second, whenever we try and visit him, Madame Pombitch says that we can't visit him whenever we come in. She always says, oh, he's sleeping or oh he's eating. Well, if he was eating, we could come see him and he can't always be sleeping!"  
  
"Sirius, I think you're a nutter."  
  
Sirius heaved a sigh, "Just think about it will you? Over the holidays, I seriously think I might be on to something."  
  
"Please, don't mention this to Remus, you'll upset him."  
  
"Oh, I wasn't planning too. At least, not until I'm at least 60 percent sure."  
  
The train came to a crashing halt, that was so forceful that James ended up in Sirius' lap. Looking out the compartment window, James spotted his mother who was standing atop a cardboard box looking anxiously at the train.  
  
"See your mum, James?" Sirius asked scanning the crowd.  
  
"Yeah, she's standing on the box."  
  
"Aww." Sirius chided, "How sweet, she looks really anxious to see you."  
  
The boys collected their baggage from the luggage car and disembarked the train. They scurried over to Mrs. Potter who, from her position atop the box was clearly visible above the masses.  
  
"Over here, dear! JAMES!" she called, stepping down from her perch.  
  
When they reached her, James was quickly engulfed in a humongous bear hug, when he tried to break away, she clasped him tighter.  
  
"Oh, darling, I have missed you so much!" She set him down and turned her eagle gaze to Sirius, "OH! And you must be James friend, Sirius! I have heard so much about you!"  
  
Not waiting for Sirius to make any response, Mrs. Potter picked him up and bear hugged him as well.  
  
"Now, Sirius." she began, "I want to know how my little boy is behaving at school."  
  
Sirius grinned cheekily at her, "In the classroom, marvellously. James here is a model student. However." he paused for effect, "Out of the class, I must say that he can be quite a rascal."  
  
Mrs. Potter placed her hands on her hips and shot James a I'll-deal-with- you-later look, "What he has been doing, dear?"  
  
"Oh, just snogging girls in the caretaker's office, he's quiet a player your son, the girls are all over him."  
  
"WHAT!" Mrs. Potter screamed, "James, I cannot believe you! A PLAYER! Much better to have one solid girlfriend. Now, why don't you go off and get a nice young lady? BUGGER YOUNG MAN! YOU ARE IN TROUBLE!"  
  
"Sirius!" James exclaimed, "You know I don't do that!"  
  
Sirius hung his head as Mrs. Potter glared at him, "Your right James, it was a clever reiteration of the truth."  
  
Mrs. Potter smiled, "Well, dear, now that you've had your joke, lets proceed home. I've cooked us quiet a dinner, roast beef, Yorkshire pudding, stick taffy pudding."  
  
As Mrs. Potter continued to ramble on, James turned to Sirius and muttered, "Clever reiteration of the truth? You learned that from Remus, you scum." 


	9. Year 1: Christmas: Bald Man in a Tutu

Authors Note: Right, well, I know I said it would take a few weeks. Well, I was sick, yesterday, and I had nothing else to do but right another chapter in my fan fic. So that is what I did, read and enjoy. (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((  
  
"MOVE YOUR ARSE, LAZY! MOVE YOUR ARSE, LAZY!" The mechanical voice of James' clock chimed.  
  
James slowly sat up and groggily rubbed his eyes. Glancing around his room, he smiled. Everything was just as he had left it before going to Hogwarts, his clock was the same; his desk was in the same state of disaster and random objects still occupied the floor space.  
  
He ran his fingers through his untidy black hair, hoping to flatten it to his head before going down for breakfast. Breakfast was sure to be a cheering sight, Mrs. Potter had an affinity for cooking, especially breakfast, chiefly when there were guests in the house. As he swung out of bed, James could picture the sausages, crispy strips of bacon and mouth- watering crepes.  
  
As he headed down the stairs, he could hear the familiar sounds of his mother bustling away in the kitchen, his father's American country music playing in the den and the all-to-well-known sound of Sirius snoring from the upstairs hall.  
  
"HONK SHOOOO.HONK SHOOOO." came the snoring, James grinned and darted back up the stairs.  
  
He flung open the door to Sirius' bedroom and pounced on his friend's bed. He then, pulled his face right up to Sirius and lined his eyes up with Sirius' closed ones. All of a sudden, Sirius eyes fluttered open, for a moment they got very large and then Sirius exclaimed, "James! What the hell are you doing on my bed? This looks very, very wrong. Get off immediately!"  
  
James smirked knowingly, "It doesn't look at all wrong, you're just angry because I was up first, so YOU couldn't POUNCE ON MY BED!"  
  
Sirius glared sulkily at him, "I'm not gay, you know."  
  
"The jury's still out on that one."  
  
Sirius sat and fumed silently.  
  
  
  
  
  
James grinned evilly, "So, how about getting your gay behind out of bed and getting some breakfast?"  
  
WHACK! James was knocked off the bed suddenly, by Sirius' pillow colliding with his head. He tried to get up, only to be whacked again by a barrage of pillow smacks.  
  
"Do you surrender?" Sirius yelled, raising the pillow over his head.  
  
James groped around for something white to wave as a flag, his eye was caught by a small cream white blanket. He waved it at Sirius, and then looked at it.  
  
"Black, what is this thing?"  
  
Sirius went bright red to his ears, "Oh.umm.its.my.erm.security blanket?"  
  
James choked, "You have a blankie!? How come, I've never seen it before?"  
  
Sirius was now a deeper red than his scarlet pyjamas, "Well.umm.I keep it hidden, I really don't want it generally known that I.umm.sleep with a blankie."  
  
James grinned, "Don't worry, I won't tell anybody, until last year, I still slept with a night light."  
  
"Did you really, Potter?"  
  
James nodded, "I thought my principal would come out of my closet and eat me."  
  
A mischievous glint appeared in Sirius' eyes, "Hey, James, when does your Muggle School get out for the holidays?"  
  
James thought for a moment, "Uhh.tomorrow I think."  
  
A grin slowly spread over Sirius' face, "How about we, pay them a visit? Pull a few little pranks on all those boys who were mean to you, while you were at school?"  
  
James was smiling, "And don't forget my principal."  
  
"Oh definitely not, we couldn't forget him. Any man who is scary enough to give you a complex needs to be pranked."  
  
"Well, come on, your gayness, let's go get breakfast."  
  
The two boys bounded down the stairs, tripping and stumbling over one another as they went. A magnificent spread was laid out for breakfast. The table was nicely set, with flowers, fancy silverware and decorated plates. A basket of muffins sat in the middle, all the muffins had been cleverly arranged into floral pattern.  
  
Sirius began stacking muffins, bacon and eggs into a foot-high-stack on his plate.  
  
James stared at him, "Are you really going to eat all of that?"  
  
"Yea," Sirius mumbled, his mouth full of food.  
  
The two boys wolfed down their breakfasts, it took Sirius very little time considering that he had consumed the largest breakfast ever seen, and rushed up the stairs to get dressed.  
  
When they arrived back downstairs, they found Mr. Potter sitting in a chair by the door reading, The Daily Prophet, he looked up as they passed him, "Where're you off to boys?"  
  
"Oh," said Sirius quickly, "We were thinking of Flu Powdering to Remus' house, no fun at all being sick over Christmas you know."  
  
Mr. Potter adjusted his glasses and smiled at Sirius, "Well, aren't you just a wonderful considerate young man. James, you can learn from Sirius, here. Run along, boys and give Remus my regards."  
  
Mrs. Potter stuck her head in through the doorway, "Oh, dear," she said looking at James, "Tell Remus, that once he's feeling better, he's welcome to come spend a few days here."  
  
"Yes, mum." said James automatically, "Will do."  
  
His mother beamed, "That's my good boy."  
  
Once Mrs. Potter had left and Mr. Potter had returned to his paper, Sirius muttered, "What's your school's address?"  
  
James approached the fire, took a handful of powder and jumping in saying, "Educate!"  
  
A moment later, James found himself in the school's dusty old library, a moment later, Sirius tumbled out of the chimney. They brushed themselves off and Sirius grinned.  
  
"Right then," he said rubbing his hands together with excitement, "Who're we off to torment first?"  
  
"Well, I think our first helpless victim should be, the principal. Seeing as he's giving an assembly, right now."  
  
Laughing as they went, the two boys made their way through the dirty hallways of James' old school, turning a corner they soon found themselves in a large auditorium, stuffed to the brim with students.  
  
A large, balding man was standing on the stage, behind a small pulpit, his expression was grim. He was shaking his fingers in a very animated way, Sirius began to laugh and point at him in a manor almost as animated as the bald man's. James groaned inwardly.  
  
"Excuse me?" piped the man, "You think it's funny that girls are smoking on the premise? What's your name mister? You are in deep trouble!"  
  
"Umm.no actually," Sirius said without skipping a beat, "Actually, I think it's you who are in deep trouble!" he whipped out his wand.  
  
Everyone in the room began to titter, "Oooo.he's gonna beat the headmaster with a bloody great stick!" they chanted.  
  
"WINGARDIUM LEVIOSA!" Sirius yelled, and the principals pulpit rose into the air, landing with a crash on the other side of the stage.  
  
Everyone in the auditorium became dead quiet.  
  
James grinned, he could see the people who used to pick on him. They were staring at him, and they were scared. Getting into the mood he hollered, "Pantelones vaneshismo!" The headmaster gave a funny sort of squawk, his trousers were gone, revealing his white, frilly, briefs.  
  
The muggle children forgot all about being scared, they burst into laughter, shouting and pointing at the principal.  
  
"TUTU REPEARO!" Sirius screeched and a frilly pink tutu appeared on the principal.  
  
"INSPAY ALLHORM!" James hollered, and the principal went up on his toes and twirled.  
  
Both boys joined the muggles in collapsing into a fit of hysterics.  
  
The little bald man looked helpless around the room, "Your all on detention!" he yelled. Nobody paid attention. The sight of a fat little bald man dancing around in a tutu was too much to handle.  
  
"MR.BLACK! MR. POTTER!" the laughter was abruptly interrupted. Sirius and James turned slowly. The voice was familiar, they dreaded that voice.  
  
Standing, with her hands on her hips, and a deep scowl on her face, was Professor McGonagall. 


	10. Year 1: Christmas: In Which James Comes ...

Author's Note: Yes, it has been a while. I have been exceedingly busy. I still am very busy, but since it has been almost a month since I last updated this fic, I decided that an update was necessary. I hope you like it!  
  
9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999  
  
McGonagall was staring into his eyes, a deep frown curling her well-formed lips. James lowered his gaze, to afraid and ashamed to even look at her. The Professor took a deep breath and adjusted her wide-rimmed glasses, "I cannot even put into words what I feel about the events that were taking place in that auditorium." She paused and continued, "However, for your sole benefit, I will try. Yes, I am extremely angry. But, for the most part I simply disappointed."  
  
James' gaze remained locked on the floor. His stomach lurched slightly as a pang of guilt stabbed. He liked McGonagall and disappointing her really wasn't high on his priority list.  
  
The Professor cleared her throat and glared sternly at the boys, when resumed speaking, her tone was sad and tired, "Torturing Muggles, even harassing them slightly as a joke, is by no means a laughing matter - not anymore. A strange cult is immerging, its sole purpose is to torture and kill Muggles."  
  
Sirius interrupted, "Professor, what we were doing in there hardly qualifies as torturing Muggles! It was funny! We didn't hurt them!"  
  
It was Minerva's turn to interrupt, "What starts out as harmless fun can quickly - very quickly - turn into something malicious and dangerous, Mr. Black. You might not have harmed them today, but what about in ten years from now? Will you always be entertained by putting Muggle school officials into ballet costumes? I think not! What if, one day, you find it funny to actually kill someone?"  
  
Sirius' eyes bugged out of his head, and an incredulous look came over his dark featured face, "Professor." He began his tone serious, "I would never, ever kill anyone."  
  
She sighed, "Yes, Sirius, I know. I was only making a point. Muggles are people; they are not a toy for your amusement. You cannot treat them like stuffed animals."  
  
James bit his lip and asked cautiously, "Erm.Professor? How exactly did you know we were here?"  
  
"Oh, on school holidays, I work at the Flu Network, to make a bit of spare money. The port the two of you came through, hadn't been used since the summer, and then by one person. Previous to that, it hadn't been used for over forty years. The Flu network president thought it a bit suspicious that an apparently abandoned terminal was used twice in five minutes."  
  
James looked down, "Oh."  
  
Professor McGonagall fixed them with a strict look, raising her eyebrows, "I must warn the two of you, a law is being passed for the New Year concerning under aged wizards. It seems that the largest users of illegal spells are wizards younger than seventeen. As, they are being recruited into this cult, called The Death Eaters. The ministry is setting up a network to track the use of spells as we speak. You may wish to refrain from using anymore spells on Muggles, or I will make sure to put your names on the ministry list of young wizards to watch most closely."  
  
Sirius gaped at her, mouth open slightly, "THEY CAN'T DO THAT! IT'S NOT FAIR! AN INFRACTION OF OUR RIGHTS!"  
  
Minerva smiled slightly, "Mr. Black, until you are seventeen, you don't have any rights."  
  
Sirius scowled, his brows furrowed, "Doesn't seem fair."  
  
"Maybe not, but that's the way it is. Now," her eagle eyes turned to James, "Mr. Potter, I feel that perhaps I should escort yourself and Mr. Black home."  
  
"Well, Professor, you see." James stammered, desperate for some excuse that would prevent McGonagall from going home with him.  
  
"We need to go get Remus." Sirius concluded smoothly.  
  
McGonagall raised her eyebrows disbelievingly, "Oh really? To bring him where?"  
  
James had recovered, "My house."  
  
Sirius gave the Professor his best, I'm so innocent and sweet don't you love me smile, "And we might be a while in getting him, you probably don't want to hang around."  
  
She frowned, "Well, I do have to get back to work. I don't want to hear about you two getting into anymore trouble, is that clear?" She leaned in, making sure to direct her stare at Sirius, who was already beginning to smirk at the fact that they'd gotten away with their Muggle endeavours.  
  
McGonagall removed her wand from her baggy robes. With a small 'POP' she vanished from sight.  
  
James breathed a loud exaggerated sigh of relief, "Excellent, she's gone. Now, we can go get Remus."  
  
Sirius hand on his heart, "That nearly gave me a heart attack, that did. Of all the bad luck, McGonagall has to catch us! James, we are never repeating that experience again. Never, I tell you."  
  
James grinned and gently grabbed his friend's arm pulling him towards the academy's large ornately decorated fireplace. He was definitely ready to get out of this place.  
  
The boys stepped into the fireplace and James took out a handful of the greenish Flu powder, which he had stuffed in his pocket on the journey before. He quickly said the address for Remus, "La créature de la lumière de ciel de nuit"  
  
"What kind of Flu address is that? It sounds French." Sirius demanded.  
  
"I've no idea." James responded, "I don't speak French, at least not very well. It was a required class at my Muggle school, but I never paid any attention."  
  
"That was a brilliant move." Sirius muttered. The conversation was cut short as the pair was engulfed in the flame.  
  
A moment later, they found themselves inside a small, very cluttered little cottage. Homey furniture made it look comfy and gave the tiny living room an endearing look and feel.  
  
Sirius stood up first and brushed himself off, "Remus!" he called.  
  
From another room a soft, raspy voice came, "Sirius?"  
  
James rose, "Remus, we're hear to invite you to my house, uhh.formally. Where are you?"  
  
The raspy voice came again, "Well, I'm in my room. Second door on your left, but I'm not so well.so I don't really think going to your house would be a good idea."  
  
"Remus," Sirius hollered, "You're always sick, I really think you should see a specialist." He turned and looked at James and said in a hushed whisper, "If they have specialists for werewolves."  
  
James glared irritably at Sirius and hissed, "Sirius, I told you. I don't think Remus is a werewolf. Drop it"  
  
From the other room Remus called, "Well, there aren't really any specialists for my condition."  
  
Sirius began nodding enthusiastically at James, but stopped when James gave him an extremely annoyed look, which plainly said, "Drop it, or die."  
  
James and Sirius made there ways over to the room which Remus had specified and quietly peered in. On the bed, was Remus, but he looked nothing like the Remus they were used too. His eyes were sunken, and purple shadows darkened his usually pale cheeks. His lips were dry and his generally creamy skin was cracked. In two words he looked: absolutely awful.  
  
"Geez Remus," Sirius voiced what they were both think, "You've seen better days."  
  
Remus chucked quietly, the sound strange and forced, "When you're sick, you usually have."  
  
"So what have you got anyway?" Sirius asked craftily, earning himself an aggravated look from James.  
  
"Diabetes," Remus responded promptly.  
  
"Oh," said Sirius sounding a tad disappointed.  
  
"Well," said James trying to rap up the conversation before Sirius asked any embarrassing questions, "If you're feeling better, my Flu address is: Potterville UK."  
  
Without any further talk, he and Sirius left the room. As soon as they were out of the room, James hissed, "Okay, okay. I believe you. I think Remus is a werewolf."  
  
Sirius smiled triumphantly, "I knew you would see my point. It makes perfect sense. He's always sick on the full moon, always the same symptoms. Remus is a werewolf."  
  
"Okay," James whispered, "Do not mention this to Remus. Wait until he tells us. I'm sure he will one day."  
  
"Right, but what if he never tells us? Does that mean I have to keep the secret forever?"  
  
James sighed exasperatedly and pulled Sirius towards the fireplace. 


	11. Year 1: Animal Attraction and Les Misera...

Authors Note: Hello! Happy Valentines to you all ( I realize that this is not the correct day, but oh well, close enough. Happy reading! This chapter is for Maren (marzoog), who has listened diligently to all my rambling on about plots and various stories and for helping me edit not only my fan fiction, but all the novels I start, but will probably never finish. For people who go to my school, do you think the librarian in the story bears resemblance to Ms. Houston?  
  
" :: ~ Julia ~ :: "  
  
£$£$£$£$£$£$£$£$£$£$£$£$£$£$£$£$£$£$£$£$£$£$£$£$£$£$£$£$£$£$£$£$£$£$£$£$£$£$ £$£$£  
  
The door banged open, making everyone in the previously silent library jump. The librarian glared at the peace disturbers over her small low-fitting glass rims. Bunching up her petite nose into a scowl she snapped, "Mr. Black, Mr. Potter and Mr. Lupin, people in here are trying to work. Please keep the noise level down!"  
  
James and Remus squirmed guiltily and quietly muttered, "Sorry" under their breaths. Madame Prince just glared at them, irritably. Sirius, however, put on a mask of regret and moved over to the librarian's desk, and in a dramatic sorrowful voice exclaimed, "Professor, we are so very sorry. We shall try to be more quieter."  
  
"Quieter, not 'more quieter', Mr. Black."  
  
"Isn't that what I said?" Sirius demanded  
  
"No."  
  
"Oh right, then. Let me rephrase that, we will be more quieter."  
  
"You did it again, Mr. Black," sighed Madame Prince, "Honestly, I think we need to work on your grammar."  
  
"Now, look here, Madame Prince, I honestly think that you'd be better off for a good hearing aid, I have said 'more quieter' twice now!"  
  
"Exactly!" exclaimed the librarian, "And you should say, 'quieter'."  
  
Sirius' eyes flashed mischievously, "And I have, Professor! Three times!"  
  
"Without the 'more' just quieter! NO 'MORE'!"  
  
"OH!" said Sirius with mock realization, "Well, why didn't you say so in the first place?"  
  
Madame Prince sighed exasperatedly and hissed, "I'm sure you have work to do, Mr. Black, perhaps you could go do it, and get out of my sight before I throttle you?"  
  
James laughed softly to himself as Sirius disappeared into the immense rows of bookshelves. Seated on his right was Lily Evans, who was scowling in a way that James found extremely attractive at her transfiguration book. He pushed her finger aside and looked at the page she was glowering at. Animagus Transformations was the heading, and her finger had been rested on the words , '.animagus are the only creatures: human, magical or otherwise, that can interact in a positive manor with a werewolf in it's transformed state.'  
  
He starred at the passage, and then at Lily who was looking at him in a very curious manor. She smiled prettily at him and then said, "Look at the third paragraph, right here where it says, 'an animagus takes the form that best reflects the person's personality' , well, I don't understand that. I mean, Professor McGonagall isn't at all cat-like, she's not at all timid or vicious."  
  
"Well," James began, "Not all cats are like that are they? She is very independent and very direct."  
  
"I suppose. James, what animal do you suppose I'd be, then? That's the essay topic you know."  
  
"I think you'd be a horse," he said frankly  
  
She looked at him, confusion in her green eyes, "A horse?"  
  
"Yes, a horse is, friendly, energetic and.and." he paused and swallowed, "absolutely beautiful."  
  
Lily's face lit up, and she leaned very close to him. James felt a shiver of excitement shoot up his spine, he'd been hanging around Lily for nearly six months and had never been this close to her. She continued to get closer, until, her lips gently brushed his own. She held them there, as James sat, paralyzed and immobile, but greatly enjoying his inability to move or resist.  
  
"You forgot that horses are also very up front about their affections." she whispered.  
  
"Did I?" James asked, feeling himself going very red, "My mistake, I'm sure."  
  
He gazed deeply into her stunning eyes, bright green like a glistening emerald. He could look into those eyes forever.  
  
"WHAT IS THIS RUBBISH?" the moment was interrupted, by Sirius' loud cry from the other side of the room. James peered around the book case.  
  
Sirius was holding an extremely thick volume in his hands, staring at it incredulously. Marissa Hagman, was leaping at him, and he moved the book swiftly out of her reach. Remus was seated at the library table, unable to contain his laughter.  
  
"GIVE IT TO ME, ASSHOLE!" Marissa was shouting.  
  
As Sirius twisted away from her, James was able to glimpse the books cover, Les Miserables. He grinned as Marissa threw a flimsy punch at Sirius' stomach.  
  
"REMUS!" Sirius exclaimed, "Listen to this rubbish! 'The Battle of Waterloo is an enigma as incomprehensible to the winners as to the loser. To Napoleon it was a panic; Blucher saw it simply as a matter of fire-power and Wellington didn't understand it all. We have only to study the accounts, the confused reports, the contradictory views.' isn't that pathetic?"  
  
"GIVE IT TO ME RIGHT NOW!" Marissa screeched, she knocked into Sirius, in a feeble attempt to knock him over.  
  
"Oh!" Sirius continued, "And listen to this, 'A doll is among the most pressing needs as well as the most charming instincts of female childhood. To care for it, adorn it, dress and undress it, give it lessons, scold it a little, put it to bed and sing it to sleep' oh how sweet 'pretend that the object is a living person - all the future of the woman resides on this.' Planning to start a family, Marissa? Should we buy you a dolly? Would you like that Marissa?"  
  
Marissa was crimson with fury, "Stop it! Give me my book!"  
  
Remus sides were heaving with laughter, he seemed to have lost complete control over himself. "Ok, Sirius." he managed to choke out, "Give her the book, I can't laugh anymore or I'll suffocate."  
  
Sirius smirked at Marissa, and handed her the book, which she grabbed deftly from him, "Ok, Marissa, you can have it. I don't want to suffocate my friend."  
  
James turned back to Lily, "Hey, I better go over there and drag Sirius out of here, before Marissa kills him. See you around?"  
  
She smiled, "You bet, and James?"  
  
He leaned in closer, "Yes?"  
  
"Don't let the only time we hang out be in the library, tonight in the common rooms, come find me. We'll do something fun."  
  
He returned her smile, warmly, "I'd like that."  
  
He turned at began walking over to the hazard zone, but not before he heard Lily whisper, "Yeah, me too."  
  
£$£$£$£$£$£$£$£$£$£$£$£$£$££$£$£$£$£$£$£$£$£$£$£$£$£$£$£$£$£$£$£$£$£$£$ £$£$ How did you all like that? Maybe James is falling in love a bit fast, but you know how things are when your 12, everything moves fast. When you go out with someone, it usually lasts like a week. Besides, it isn't as if they snogged/French kissed or anything, just a little brush on the lips. Sweet and innocent. Review Please! 


	12. Year 1: The Plot Unfolds

Authors Note: I'm sick ( , and I haven't written since February on this fic, so I decided that an update was nesesscary. Some of my friends might recognize this chapter as something that happened to me recently.cough.cough.Dr. Taylor.cough. Although, I must admit that my lovely Marauders took it a bit further than I ever would have, alas, they have more courage than I do. Oh well, read and enjoy! I know this is a very short chapter, but hopefully it will be a good read, none the less.  
  
)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))  
  
"Can you believe the nerve of that woman, James?" Sirius demanded as he paced around the dormitory, "FIVE HOMEWORK NOTICES IN ONE DAY! Can you believe it?"  
  
James leaned against his bed post and grinned at his hysterical friend, "Well, Sirius, you have had a month to turn in your history of magic write ups, but you insist on procrastination. What would you do if I wasn't in all your classes? You'd be getting five a day the way you amble along."  
  
Sirius flung himself on to his bed, "I just can't stand her, Professor Elsa is so annoying! She can't teach for beans, James, and you know it!"  
  
"Yeah," James protested, "But she's a nice person, at least she isn't a bitch like McGonagall."  
  
"Nice person, my ass!" Sirius shouted irritably as he buried his face in his pillow, "She's a freaking whore, James. Let's kill her."  
  
Remus looked up from the magazine he had been reading and grinned, "What's it to be Sirius, arsenic, overdose of manganese or a sharp fatal blow to the neck?"  
  
James smirked as he watched Sirius begin punching his pillow like a possessed madman. He was glad that Sirius' mum had thought to back re- enforced pillow cases, she obviously new Sirius well enough to know they'd be needed, and badly. Suddenly Sirius sat up straight and smiled, "I have an idea, James. We'll get the bitch fired."  
  
"How?" James asked, beginning to feel a bit impatient with his friends spur of the moment nature.  
  
"We could make it look like she'd had an affair with Remus."  
  
"YUCK!" Remus voiced from the couch, "Me? Sleep with that old hag. Not on your life, Black!"  
  
"Well, you wouldn't actually have to sleep with her." Sirius said matter of factly, "Just make it look like you did."  
  
"And wouldn't I get expelled?" Remus demanded, "I'm not getting into big trouble over five lousy homework notices, Sirius."  
  
"I know!" said Sirius enthusiastically, "We'll steal her lesson plans! That'll piss her off royally, and just prove my point about how disorganized she is."  
  
"She can't be disorganized, if you stole them." James pointed out.  
  
"She can so," Sirius protested, "If she leaves them in a place where I can easily access them, I count that as disorganized and irresponsible. Besides, if we steal them, we won't have to listen to anymore of her completely boring lessons. All she ever does is read us notes that we're currently copying down. The heck! We could do that ourselves, without her!"  
  
"Count me out." James said getting up from his bed, "I like Professor Elsa, well enough that I'm not about to go stealing from her."  
  
Sirius pouted, "Awww.pretty please, Jamesie poo?"  
  
"No, Sirius," James said firmly, "Not this time, its one thing to pull pranks that won't hurt anyone. But, the professors work really hard on their lesson plans. I'm not going with you to steal them. Go find yourself, some stupid little Hufflepuff who'd be willing to do all your dirty work. Because, I won't do it. Not this time."  
  
Yep, as I told you, short and sweet. But hopefully you enjoyed it. It sounds like a conversation between me (Sirius) and my friend Alexis (James) after I got sent five homework notices for not turning in lab reports, oh well, you'll have to wait until next chapter to see how this plan unfolds! Review! 


	13. Ender

Authors Note; Yes, I never completed this fic. After like a year, I just decided to write this little note. Maren, yes you may take it over if you feel the need too LOL. But, I have completely lost my taste for the marauders after the 5th book and will never write anymore on this story. Thank you to everybody who read and reviewed. 


End file.
